Our Gemara on Amud Beis makes a distinction between an obligatory thanksgiving offering and a voluntary one. Since the thanksgiving sacrifice is considered a voluntary sacrifice, the commentaries must explain: what does the Gemara mean by an “obligatory thanksgiving”? Rashi says it’s referring to after the vow was made to bring a thanksgiving offering; now it is a full obligation. However, Rashi in the ksav yad version offers another interpretation. The famous four situations (Berachos 54b) that incite an obligation to bentch goimel are representative of a different category, and just as one is obligated in the goimel blessing, in the times of the Temple one would be required to bring a sacrifice. (The four situations are: seafarers, those who traveled through a wilderness, one who was mortally ill and recovered, and one who was incarcerated and released.)

Leaving aside the complex halachic discussions of how this is categorized—obligatory sacrifice or voluntary—and its ramifications, let us reflect on the psychological dimension. Gratitude should be sincere and spontaneous; if so, how does one obligate that act of thanksgiving? Yet, parents the world over tell their children, “Say thank you.”

The simple answer is that while we cannot force gratitude, we can create reminders and courtesies that leave space for awareness and self-reflection that will eventually lead to gratitude. We tend to forget and take for granted that which comes automatically and consistently. If we did not remind children to thank others, they would not develop the self-awareness that produces gratitude. As God’s children, our religion treats us no differently.

And there is more. It may not just be a reminder or placeholder. The act of pausing to recognize what is being given not only cultivates gratitude but also promotes greater happiness and satisfaction. Psychologist Jeffery Froh (“Making Grateful Kids: Saying Thank You is Beyond Good Manners”, Hofstra Horizons, September 25, 2014) studied the effects of encouraging mindful reflection and gratitude on school-age children. Froh reports:

“In 2006, psychology professors and researchers Nansook Park and Christopher Peterson conducted a content analysis of parents’ descriptions of children’s strengths, gratitude being one. They found that out of the twenty-four strengths examined, gratitude had the strongest relation to life satisfaction.”

Here are some details from Froh’s study:

“Perhaps the most commonly used technique for boosting gratitude—among adults and youth alike—is a gratitude journal. For my first study on gratitude in kids, I asked middle school students to simply list five things for which they were grateful daily for 2 weeks, and I compared these students to others who were writing about hassles in their life or basic daily life events.”

The findings were:

1. Keeping a gratitude journal was related to more optimism and life satisfaction and to fewer physical complaints and negative emotions.

1. Most significantly, compared to the other students, students who kept a gratitude journal reported more satisfaction with their school experience (i.e., find school interesting, feel good at school, think they are learning a lot, and are eager to go to school).

1. Immediately after the 2-week period, a result that held up even 3 weeks later (see Figure 1).

Froh adds this observation:

“School satisfaction is positively related to academic and social success. Many early and late adolescents, however, indicate significant amounts of dissatisfaction with their school experience. Therefore, inducing gratitude in students via keeping a gratitude journal may be a viable intervention for mitigating negative views of school and academics while promoting positive views about school and academics. Holding such a positive view predisposes students to improving both their academic and social competence and may help motivate them to get the most out of school.”

Torah rituals such as blessings, tithes, first fruit celebrations, and thanksgiving sacrifices that are mandated clearly subscribe to this idea that human nature requires repetition and action to generate deeper awareness and moral character development.

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Translations Courtesy of Sefaria, except when, sometimes, I disagree with the translation

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Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, LMFT, DHL is a psychotherapist who works with high conflict couples and families. He can be reached via email at simchafeuerman@gmail.com